Saturday, May 8, 2021

May 7 — I-40 Through Oklahoma

Yesterday was so full that I decided to take a day off from writing AND split it into two posts.  So for a while, these will be a bit behind.

Finally dragged myself out of bed early enough to see the sunrise, and it was a doozy!

Also, the ants that survived our onslaught had moved on to sandier pastures.  Humans:1 Nature:0

Took a 2.5 mile walk around the campground and found an authentic pioneer outpost.

You can barely make them out, but there are at least 8 deer faces poking out of the underbrush, perfectly still, staring straight at me.  It was like a Magic Eye poster.

Some cool signage just outside the campground.

We got back on the road at 11ish and stopped at Walmart #3 in Yukon, OK (hometown of Garth Brooks!) for refueling and fridge restocking.

We arrived in El Reno, OK around 2:30 for a late lunch.


We were a week too late for the Fried Onion Burger Festival, which centers around the cooking (and hopefully eating?) of a 750-lb onion burger, and the Main Street area was quiet but cute.


Oklahoma onion burgers are crisp-fried patties of a little meat and a LOT of shredded onion. Popularized during the Depression, the cook who invented it supposedly smashed a half-onion’s worth of shreds into every five-cent patty.  We of course did our due diligence and decided on Johnnie’s, one of the three diners in El Reno legendary for their onion burger. 

 The burger was great but the onion rings really stole the show.  The Frito Chili pie was a junk food lover’s dream and a bathroom janitor’s nightmare.

A block away, we visited a darling little bakery that does exquisite modern wedding cake designs and a few take-away dessert items.  We got a slice of cheesecake and a PB Brownie to split.  Unsurprisingly, they were pretty danged great.


El Reno is obviously trying to attract more tourism, with Lime scooters everywhere, a hip boutique or two, and public art installations like this cool graffiti alley, but it was nearly empty of people and there were a lot of closed businesses and empty storefronts.  It’s a really sweet little town so I hope that once more tourism starts back up, it’ll find it’s way.


A ways further west, we stopped at the Cherokee Trading Post, which has pretty standard souvenir shop fare, but is notable for being in continuous operation since 1963.  There’s also a giant Native man statue, but you quickly find that Giant Man Statues of all persuasions are a common Route 66/I-40 motif.

Say “tourist!” (They actually are!)

In the trading post parking lot we asked the driver of this truck what he was hauling...

It’s a generator for one of these wind turbines!

As we neared the Texas border, we were cutting it close to “closing hours” of the Sandhills Curiosity Shop in Erick, OK.  We saw this place on Roadside America and due to its legendary/infamous status, Mom & Dad had seen it on a couple documentaries/travel shows.  It’s billed as “a shop where nothing is for sale and its greatest curiosities are its owners, Harley and Annabelle, ‘The Mediocre Music Makers.’” Reviews online from previous visitors from around the world also tout Harley as a laugh riot and one of the last vestiges of authentic Route 66 culture.  Naturally, we were VERY anxious to see this place.  We screeched into a parking spot down the street and speed-walked over.  What luck!  The hours posted on Google were meaningless and Harley was inside playing guitar.  We stepped inside... you know what they say about being careful what you wish for?


Harley is indeed a character.  Sadly, his wife Annabelle passed from cancer in 2014, but her presence and influence on the “shop” is still very tangible.  The elaborate posters she created for visiting tour groups are stacked in huge piles and her paintings and drawings are tucked everywhere.  I can only assume that the collecting was mostly her passion, as well, since Harley seemed fairly dismissive of the “stuff” and if we expressed interest in looking at anything or asking about items, he’d quickly try to distract us with (VERY) off-color humor, good-natured ranting, and performances both oratory and musical which he frankly demanded be filmed.  All while high as a kite and drunk as a skunk.  Tipping is highly encouraged and seems to be how he makes his living.


Almost an hour later, we emerged in somewhat of an exhausted daze.  Mom said it best — “I kept hoping he’d stop acting and just talk to us.”  Harley will make you laugh, but you might not be entirely sure why, or whether your laughter is conciliatory or simply confused.   I’m glad we stopped, and Harley doesn’t owe anyone a piece of his authentic self, but there’s a manic performative-ness and an understandable sadness that has tempered the good-time laid-back vibe that this place seems to once have had. Wait... did we just discover a near-perfect encapsulation of the American Experience?  Or maybe we just caught him on a bad day.  

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Real Talk with Reba.  Don’t forget to submit your nominations for my Pulitzer Prize.

Part two tomorrow - a stay on a working cattle farm in Texas! 


Thursday, May 6, 2021

Arkansas >> Oklahoma

We got up a little earlier than usual to a sunny day.  Made our coffee and took it easy for a bit.

  The living room slide had been making a pretty not-great sound the last few times we set up, so Dad got in grease monkey mode. 

         

We were on the road by 10:45 and enjoyed some final lovely Arkansas scenery on our way to OK.


Just after the Oklahoma border, we stopped at the first Visitor Information Center we found.  They had a sign for Tourist Appreciation Week - ravenous for Little Debbies, we staggered in with eyes bleary and blood sugar low.  But not a single snack or magnet or ballpoint pen greeted us!  This was a clear victory for Arkansas, but I’m holding out hope that Oklahoma will redeem itself tomorrow.  Those Swiss Rolls could be on their way as I type this.  Begrudgingly, we settled for the promised Information (which was plentiful.)  A lady who was VERY into Lonesome Dove gave us lots of good tips for our travels tomorrow.

Just don’t think about the song and it won’t be stuck in your head all day.  Easy!

At about 3:30 we arrived at the Belle Star Campground in Eufaula, OK.  Another Corps of Engineers site on the water!  Dad picked some good ones.  The Campground is named after the Queen of the Oklahoma Outlaws!

Belle Starr, horse thief and all-around Bad Gal

Pulling into the site: The truck has two camera feeds, one aimed at the hitch for connecting, and one on the back of the camper for parking.  Mom usually gets out and guides from the sides, too.

Another beautiful site.  Only issue was a huge ant colony around the cement platform, so we spent the first half hour launching all-out war on them with ant spray.  They like to climb up wheels and supports and will totally infest an RV.  So far, so good.

Mom & Dad napped a bit while I worked.  Then we had quesadillas at our site’s picnic table and Dad trimmed Mom’s bangs.  That’s TRUST, ya’ll!


Another gorgeous sunset capped off the day.  Tomorrow - Texas!


Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Old Aberdeen Cemetery/Country Roads/Mississippi River/Little Rock, AR

After bacon and egg biscuits for breakfast, we set out for Aberdeen to run some errands and take a look at the Main Street.  


Checking on the Roadside America map, we saw the intriguing “Lady Whose Dress Caught Fire” nearby, so off we went!

The Lady in question is buried in the Old Aberdeen Cemetery, and her devoted husband decided the best way to memorialize his beloved was to order a custom gravestone depicting the grisly scene of her demise.  


The stone appears to have fallen over some time ago, and the red stuff growing in the standing water really makes those flames extra flame-y, right?

There were some other nicely decorated graves, including this crypt which, according to local lore, houses a woman buried in her favorite rocking chair, holding her knitting.


This column is carved with mysterious symbols that no one has been able to interpret!  Looks like a cheat code for a Ye Olde PlayingStation game to me. 


Having paid our respects, we returned to our camp site to have bread made by monks (from yesterday) with cream cheese made by ...Philadelphians? 


Then we packed up and hit the road once more!

We decided to pass on the World’s Largest Cedar Bucket just outside of town.


We drove through lots of beautiful farm land and put the camper through many bumps and jostles on the back roads.  


We crossed the Mississippi River at Helena, Arkansas...


 ...where we stopped at a really pretty rest stop overlooking the river.  It’s National Tourist Appreciation Week (about time!) and we were practically showered with free Arkansas-made goodies and Little Debbie snacks.  


Arkansas Essentials.  Fun Fact: Arkansas is the rice-production capital of the world!


An electric Guijo made from a ceiling fan that belonged to James “Super Chikan” Johnson, a local blues musician.

We arrived at Maumelle Park Campground in Little Rock at about 6:30 pm after 297 miles (6+ hours!!) on the road.  Our butts and a couple of the mugs in the kitchen cabinet were pretty busted up after such a long drive on roads so uneven that “they’re gonna kill somebody!” (Source: Dad)  


This campground is also run by the Corps of Engineers and is also on the water.  There’s a marina and a bunch of huge boat-lifting equipment adjacent to the park.


 Dad and I went for a walk while Mom made dinner and Dad found some first-time  RVers who were having trouble hooking their camper back up who he helped out.  The sunset was absolutely beautiful.


Tonight we’re swapping bananas with peaches in our dessert — Livin on the edge!

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Clarkson Covered Bridge/Ave Maria Grotto/Natural Bridge

 This is a gonna be a big one.  Despite near-constant thunderstorms and tornado watches, we packed in a ton today.  Our main destination in Cullman was the Ave Maria Grotto, but it’s outdoors so we waited out the first rainstorm at the Clarkson Covered Bridge a few miles away.




It was originally built in 1904 and closed to motor traffic in the 60s.  But you can still host your own Lawless-style bootlegger shootout here.

We were blessed with about an hour’s rain reprieve just as we got to the Ave Maria Grotto - thanks, Patron Saint of Not Getting Rained On!  Ave Maria is a truly special place.  Even if you’re not religious, it’s got so much history and charm and attention to detail you can’t help but be enchanted.  It’s a collection of miniatures made by a Benedictine monk from Bavaria who came to the newly founded monastery in Cullman, AL in 1892.  He permanently and seriously injured his back soon after, making him ineligible for his dream of priesthood.  The monastery allowed him to be a Brother and shovel coal instead, because what better work for a bad back than back-breaking labor?  Amazingly, in his spare time, Brother Joseph Zoetl managed to instead build his legacy by constructing hundreds of miniatures of historic places, biblical scenes, and saints’ shrines out of cemented stones, jewelry, household items and assorted bric-a-brac.  The collection eventually attracted so many visitors that the Main Monk Guy kindly asked him to chill with the mini-making, bro.  Luckily it was eventually decided to instead move the collection to a dedicated garden where tourists could visit it without interrupting the daily routine of the monastery.  It was completed in 1934.  I could have posted a billion photos from this place but I’ll try my best to keep it to the best ones:

To the left of Mom and above me are the only two miniatures that represented buildings that Brother Zoetl saw with his own eyes - a cathedral and castle in Bavaria.  All the other structures based on real places were made from photos.

The Jerusalem section


St. Peter’s Basilica, Rome

Little gondola in Montserrat

The main Grotto

Li’l Crypt

I don’t remember this version of the Hansel & Gretl story but it looks exciting! There’s a dragon in a cave!

Brother Zoetl made sure he was chained up, though, so visiting children wouldn’t be scared for poor Hansel & Gretl


Statue of Brother Zoetl looking over his kingdom



The tiny crane lifting rocks to the top! The “Tower of Babel” signs in different languages! 



Don’t you just wanna shrink yourself down and swim in this pool?

We almost didn’t see this cat because it was so perfectly still watching a chipmunk in the bushes.  Sadly it succeeded in its stalking.  Circle of Life, ya’ll.

Two more somber displays... the monastery’s cathedral also operates a school, and each white cross represents a graduate who died in WWII.

And a replica of the Peace Church in Hiroshima.

And Just a few of the beautiful patterns and textures in the sculptures:




After the Grotto, we had lunch at a regional fast food chain called Jack’s, which promised a Fried Green Tomato BLT (BLFGT?) but it turns out all Jack’s outlets had SOLD OUT OF FGTS!  We drowned our sorrows in FCBLTs (Fried Chicken BLTs) instead.  Sorry, no pictures.


I got Walmart Selfie #2 in Cullman from the Murphy gas station, which counts no matter what Dad says because they’re “primarily located in proximity to Walmart Stores” per Wikipedia.


Then we headed back to the Boondocking site and packed up and headed west.

The living room in Road Mode when the slides are pulled in.


A bit down the road we saw signs for the longest Natural Bridge east of the Rocky Mountains, so we had to stop and fact check this wild claim.


It was quite impressive, and more like a huge cavern with skylights than what we imagined.  It’s actually several “bridge” segments cross-crossing.

The beautiful forest around the Bridge and what has been deemed “Indian Face Rock.”

The lady who was running the admissions for the Bridge was ready to get the hell outta there because a tornado watch had just been issued, so we got back on the road.  

We passed Splunge Road, which takes you to the town of Splunge, a town so unfortunately named that it has a variant name of Lannsdale.  Wikipedia doesn’t say why but I think it’s fairly obvious.


116 miles from our start in Cullman, we arrived in Aberdeen, Mississippi.


Tonight we’re staying in a Corps of Engineers Campsite at Blue Bluff Recreation Area.  Our spot is right on the Aberdeen Lake section of the Tennessee-Tombigbee Waterway.  The views are gorgeous and the sky cleared just after we pulled in and set up!




Two geese and their goslings glided straight across the water towards us and pecked around in the grass just a few feet away.


We watched the sunset from the dock just behind our site which is for general use but practically feels like our own private dock. 



Mom gussied up some leftovers for dinner (we are big leftovers connoisseurs) and another Frozen Banana Deluxe for dessert.  Tomorrow we continue west into Arkansas!